‘The Vagina Monologues is going to educate the public. Why does the government have a problem?’ The female director being interviewed on the radio is infuriated.

‘It is just a play.’

I’m in bed waiting for Marc and listening to the radio. He’s late again. Instead of ‘Soothing Sounds’ on FM’s Late Hour, there’s a discussion about the government’s banning of The Vagina Monologues by Eve Ensler. The organisers of the play, an NGO, Akina Mama wa Afrika, are on air.

‘But why does it have a title like that?’ the male radio host replies. “This is Uganda, we are not used to such words.’

‘Which word?’ the director asks. ‘Say it directly, don’t go beating around the bush.’

‘Ah no, me I can’t repeat it. But it’s very upsetting,’ the host says. “Some would argue it’s obscene.’ ‘Why do you focus on small details? Can’t you see the bigger picture?’ the director answers back. ‘Ensler interviewed hundreds of women about their experiences of violence. They told her about female genital mutilation, sexual harassment, rape, incest, and domestic battering. It’s time we talk about that.’

‘Maybe,’ the host replies. ‘But that title is not one we Ugandans appreciate. We don’t condone pornography.’ ‘We’re discussing violence against women and now you’ve just called it porn. This is the problem with Ugandans…’

‘Let’s take a break now. Listeners, stay tuned for more on the latest scandal hitting the streets of Kampala. We’re talking to the director of Akina Mama wa Afrika.’

The advertisement refrain for Sleeping Baby starts to play.”… the soap with a smell that soothes and nourishes.‘

I pull the bed covers to my chin. Akina Mama wa Afrika means ‘solidarity amongst African women’. I don’t always show mine. I accept and conform. I do what’s expected of a good Ugandan woman.

The radio host is back, and the discussion continues. Even at this late hour listeners are calling in to share their views. Some on the side of the government, others against. Whose side am I on? The host says he asked the Minister of State for Information and Broadcasting to comment on the play. He reads the Minister’s response. ‘This is a complex matter. Ugandans should be aware that the government is taking this play very seriously. We’re talking about cultural taboos, erosion of traditional values, modern immorality, and the abuse of freedom of speech. We can’t allow such unfavourable art forms. We’re meeting with the Office of the President and NGOs supporting human rights. The Calmet will decide. We know what is best for Ugandans.’

The host adds his own take.

‘Dear Listeners, take comfort knowing women’s rights are taken seriously by our government.’

I check the time. One o’clock. Still no sign of Marc.

A man calls in and talks about how lucky Ugandans are, because we’re a progressive nation and ‘… the government’s National Action Plan for Women, and the National Gender Policy upholds the rights of our women…’

The host agrees.

‘Indeed we’re fortunate. In Uganda, constitutionally speaking, women are accorded full and equal dignity. There’s no doubt about that.’

A female caller disagrees…